Saying 'No' and Saying 'Yes'

March 1, 2020

St. John’s United Church of Christ, Union, Illinois

Matthew 4:1-11

One of the first words we learn to speak as small children is “No.” It is a powerful word, giving a growing person agency, control over their life. It is also a source of considerable frustration for parents.

“Please eat your green beans.” “No!”
“It’s time to get ready for bed.” “No!”
“Did you knock over the lamp?” “No!”
“Please get off the computer” “No!”

We start out making great use of “No!” even if it doesn’t always get the result we seek. As we grow older, however, it can get harder to say “No.” We learn that we more often get what we want if we say “Yes.” People like us more when we say “Yes.” We take on more responsibility and we learn to feel guilty when we say “No,” so we say “Yes” more often.

“I know you worked all day, made dinner, and have a meeting tonight, but would you help me with my homework?” “Yes.”

“I know you’re already working on the update for the client, but would you prepare the PowerPoint for the budget meeting at 4:00?” “Yes.”

“I know you’re already singing in the choir this morning, and reading scripture, but we need someone to run teach Sunday School. Would you please do that?” “Yes.”

We become so good at saying “Yes” and so hesitant to say “No” that we are exhausted, overworked, burned-out, and spiritually depleted. God is still speaking, but how can I listen when there is already so much to do? Who really has time for prayer and reflection, let alone studying scripture? But I feel so guilty saying no to God.

Maybe what we need is to regain the ability to say “No,” not selfishly like we did as a child, not saying “No” to everything, but thoughtfully and intentionally. Perhaps I wouldn’t feel so guilty saying “No” if I’ve already committed to something else. I shouldn’t say “No” just because I don’t want to do something hard, or new, or out of my comfort zone, but I should practice saying “No” to this because I have already said “Yes” to that.

In this story from Matthew’s Gospel, the focus is usually on temptation. Jesus is tempted to use his power in selfish ways, to feed his hunger, to show off, to gain power. But we can also look at how Jesus says “No” to one thing because he has said “Yes” to another.

“If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”

“If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down” off the pinnacle of the temple.

“All these [kingdoms] I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.”

Each time Jesus says “No” because he has already said “Yes!” to God.

“Yes, I will trust God to provide what I really need.”

“Yes, I will trust God to care for me.”

“Yes, I will serve and worship God alone.”

In Matthew’s Gospel, the conflict between the kingdom of this world and the kingdom of God is the major emphasis. The temptations that are presented to Jesus in the wilderness are about having power and authority in this world. If he uses his divine power selfishly, he can gain all that he might desire. He could rule in place of the Roman emperor, he could enforce peace and pronounce judgment from the throne, but it would be the throne of this world. Instead, Jesus stays true to the kingdom of God, to trust and serve God alone, to pray for God’s kingdom to come. In a sense, he has said “Yes” to God and stays true to that commitment.

Now, I doubt any of us will be asked to rule the kingdoms of this world, or be tempted to test God’s ability to provide for us. We will, however, be faced with choices and temptations of our own. We will have to choose how to best use our limited resources of time, money, and energy. We will have to choose when to say “No,” because we have already made other commitments. As followers of Jesus, I hope that we are able to say “Yes” to love of God, love of our neighbors, and love for ourselves before we have to say “No” to something else.

As we journey through Lent, we can practice saying “Yes” to what matters most. Jesus said “Yes” to trusting the word of God, to trusting in the care of God, and to serve and worship God alone. Perhaps we can say “Yes” to faithfulness, kindness, and generosity. Maybe we can say “Yes” to family, friends, and time alone.

Having already said “Yes” to the kingdom of God, Jesus was strengthened when he had to say “No” to the kingdom of the world. By choosing to hunger for God’s word, Jesus was able to resist filling the emptiness with anything less. By seeking to serve God with humility, Jesus was able to resist being lifted up until he was lifted up onto the cross. By accepting his role in God’s kingdom of grace and peace, Jesus was able to resist the lure of ruling through force, and rule instead through the power of love.

When we have already said “Yes” to those commitments that really matter, we will have the power to say “No” when temptation pulls at us. When we have said “Yes” to God we are able to say “No” to all that is not God. When we follow Jesus, we will be tempted to turn aside, yet we will be able to keep walking, even if it means taking up our own cross, because we are headed for the kingdom of God.  Amen.